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James Graham's Treasure Planet Style Part 3
Here is part three of James Graham's fifth movie spoof of Treasure Planet style movie. Cast *Jim Hawkins - Crash Bandicoot (from Crash Bandicoot) *Young Jim Hawkins - Tails the Fox (from Sonic the Hedgehog) *Long John Silver - Sheriff Doughnut (from The Amazing World of Gumball) *Morph - Tweety (from Sylvester and Tweety Mysteries) *B.E.N. - Shaggy Rogers (from Scooby Doo) *Sarah Hawkins - Snow White (from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves) *Dr. Delbert Doppler - Hugo (from Hugo the Troll) *Captain Amelia - Hugolina (from Hugo the Troll) *First Mate Arrow - Thomas O' Malley (from The Aristocats) *Scroop - Bowser Koopa (from Super Mario Bros) *Pirates - Captain Hook's Crew, Troublesome Trucks, and Scylla (from Peter Pan, Thomas and Friends, and Hugo the Troll) *Hands - Burk (from Tonic Trouble) *Onus - Yoshi (from Super Mario Bros) *Billy Bones - Ben Kenobi (from Star Wars) *Captain Flint - Captain Hook (from Peter Pan) Transcript *(in a hotel, Crash, Hugo, and Snow White are in a room as the crickets chirp outside) *Hugo: I just spoke with the constabulary. Those blaggard pirates have fled without a trace. (a clock chimes) I'm sorry, Snow White. I'm afraid that the old Benbow Inn has burned to the ground. Ahem. Well, certainly a lot of trouble... over that odd little sphere. Those markings baffle me. Unlike anything I've ever encountered-- Bandicoot presses some buttons on the ball, and as if by magic, the ball shows up a magical map Even with my vast experience and superior intellect, it would take me years to unlock its--hey! White gasps Why... it's a map! Wait. Wait, wait, wait! galaxy spins round as several objects and planets sail past them This is us, the mining planet Montressor. Gasps That's the Magellanic Cloud! Whoo! The Coral Galaxy! Oh! That's the Cygnus Cross and that's the Kerian Abyss. Wait. What's this? What's this? Why, it--it's... *Crash Bandicoot: Treasure Planet. *Hugo:: disbelief No! *Crash Bandicoot: That's Treasure Planet. *Hugo: Captain Hook's Secret Trove? The loot of a thousand worlds? Do you know what this means? *Crash Bandicoot: It means that all that treasure is only a boat ride away. *Hugo Whoever brings it back, would hold an eternal place... atop the pantheon of explorers! He'd be able to experience-- Click Whoo! What just happened? *Crash Bandicoot: discovering the map to Treasure Planet Mom, this is it. This is the answer to all of our problems. *Snow White: Crash, there is absolutely no way-- *Crash Bandicoot: Don't you remember? All those stories? *Snow White: That's all they were; stories. *Crash Bandicoot: With that treasure, we could rebuild the Benbow a hundred times over! *Snow White: Well, this-- it's just-- oh, my. Hugo, would you please explain how ridiculous this is? *Hugo: It's totally preposterous, traversing the entire galaxy alone. rolls his eyes *Snow White: Now at last, we hear some sense. *Hugo: That's why I'm going with you! out a suitcase *Snow White: HUGO! *Hugo: around and packs up some things I'll use my savings to finance the expedition; I'll commission a ship, hire a captain and a crew... *Snow White: You're not serious. *Hugo: down a tower of books All my life, I've been waiting for an opportunity like this, and here it is screaming: "Go, Hugo! Go, Hugo! Go...!" *Snow White: frustrated Okay, okay. You two are both grounded for the rest of your life! sighs *Crash Bandicoot: Mom, look. I know that I keep messing everything up. And I know...that I let you down. But this is my chance to make it up to you. I'm gonna set things right. *Hugo: Snow White? If I may? speaks to her You said yourself, you've tried everything. There are much worse remedies than a few character-building months in space. *Snow White: Are you saying this because it's the right thing or because you really wanna go? *Hugo: I really, really, really, really want to go. And it's the right thing. White turns to Crash with a worried expression *Snow White: Crash... I don't wanna lose you. *Crash Bandicoot: smiles Mom... You won't. we'll make you proud. White smiles back *Hugo: Well, ahem, there we are, then. We'll begin preparations at once. Crash, my friend. Soon, we'll be off to the Spaceport! *(The next morning, at the Spaceport, around the Docks, Crash and Hugo arrive to see loads of passengers and goods arriving) *Hugo: Crash? Hey, Crash. Wait for me! Well, Crash. This should be our wonderful opportunity for the two of us to get to know one another. You know what they say? Familiarity breeds, um... well, contempt, but, in our case-- *Crash Bandicoot: Look, let's just find the ship. OK? large clank is heard as Crash and Hugo continue their way to the ship *Laurel: Second berth on your right! *Hardy: You can't miss it. *Crash Bandicoot: Thanks. *Hugo: It's the suit, isn't it? I should never have listened... to that pushy two-headed saleswoman. This one said it fit, that one said it was my color. I didn't know what to do. I get so flustered. Ooh! Oh, Crash! This is our ship! The R.L.S. Legacy! (the R.L.S. Legacy is shown as Crash and Hugo arrive) *Crash Bandicoot: Well, blow me down! So that's where we're going! Wow! (Crash and Hugo climb aboard the ship and meet Captain Hook's crew, the foolish freight cars, and Scylla, who are pretending to be friendly) *OFFICERS: Stow those casks foward! *Thomas O' Malley: Heave together now! *Crash Bandicoot: How cool is this? (looks at a board, which says R.L.S. Legacy, Destination: Treasure Planet, and Leaves 10:15) Ship leaves... 10:15. Oh dear. We've arrived too early. Hugo, you don't think it's really true, do you? *Hugo: (laughs) Oh, yes, but cheer up, Crash. We always come early, okay? *Crash Bandicoot: Okay. into Mr. Starkey, who catches him by the neck Whoops! Sorry about that. I didn't mean-- *Mr. Starkey: And what's good about it, boy? Have you come early? *Crash Bandicoot: Uh, yes. *Hugo: Allow me to handle this. (stands up to Mr. Starkey, who lets go off Crash, and lets out a frightened grin, and smiles friendly at him) I'm fluent in Flatula, Crash. Took two years of it in high school. *Crash Bandicoot: Flatula? Cool. *Hugo: Good morning, Captain. Everything shipshape? *Thomas O' Malley: Shipshape it is, sir, but I'm not the captain. The captain's aloft. *Hugo: And who would that be? (a female troll, with her hair tied for a ponytail, arrives to greet Crash and Hugo) *Hugolina: Thomas O' Malley, I've checked this miserable ship... from stem to stern, and, as usual, it's...spot on. Can you get nothing wrong? *Thomas O' Malley: You flatter me, Captain. *Hugolina: Ah, Dr. Hugo, I presume? *Hugo: Uh, um, yes. I-- *Hugolina: -Hello! Can you hear me? *Hugo: Yes, I can! I carry a yolk in my mouth! *Hugolina: If I may, Doctor, this works so much better... when it's right-way up and plugged in. Lovely. There you go. *Hugo: If you don't mind, I can manage my own plugging! *Hugolina: I say, nice toy cigar you've got, son. *Crash Bandicoot: That's right. My name is Crash Bandicoot. *Hugolina: Why, you sure are. I'm Captain Hugolina... late of a few run-ins with the Protean armada. Nasty business, but I won't bore you with my scars. I see that you have met Thomas O' Malley, my first officer. Sterling, tough, dependable, honest, brave, and true. *Thomas O' Malley: Please, Captain. *Hugolina: Oh, shut up, Thomas. You know I don't mean a word of it. *Thomas O' Malley: Oh, how rude. *Hugo: Ahem, excuse me. I hate to interrupt this lovely banter... but may I introduce to you, Crash Bandiocot? Crash, you see, is the boy, who found the treasure-- *Hugolina: Doctor, please! (the pirates growl) I'd like a word with you in my stateroom. Doctor, to muse and blabber about a treasure map... in front of this particular crew... demonstrates a level of ineptitude... that borders on the imbecilic... and I mean that in a very caring way. *Hugo: Imbecilic, did you say? Foolishness, I've-- *Hugolina: I see the map, please? *Hugo: Okay, Crash. The map, please. *Crash Bandicoot: Okay. Here. (takes the map out and gives it to Hugolina) *Hugolina: Hmm. Fascinating. Mr. Hawkins, in the future... you will address me as Captain or ''Ma'am.''Is that clear? *Crash Bandicoot: Hmm... Okay, but I wouldn't dare repeat if I were you. *Hugolina: Mr. Hawkins? *Hugo: Yes, ma'am. *Hugolina: That'll do. Gentlemen, this must be kept under lock and key... when not in use. And, Doctor, again... with the greatest possible respect... zip your howling screamer. *Hugo: Captain, I assure you I-- *Hugolina: Let me make this as monosyllabic as possible. I don't much care for this crew you hired. They're...how did I describe them, Thomas? I said something rather good this morning before coffee. *Thomas O Malley: A ludicrous parcel of driveling galoots, ma'am. *Hugolina: There you go--poetry. *Hugo: Now, see here-- *Hugolina: Doctor, I'd love to chat-- tea, cake, the whole shebang-- but I have a ship to launch... and you've got your outfit to buff up. Mr. O' Malley, please escort these two neophytes... down to the galley straightaway. Crash Bandicoot will be working for our cook, Mr. Ergo, the Sheriff Doughnut. *Crash Bandicoot: What? The cook? Category:James Graham Category:James Graham's Transcripts Category:Treasure Planet Movie Spoofs Category:Treasure Planet Parts